
This is my story. I am too young to write one though, but somehow I have tried to put forth my little secrets to tell you all. I am Siya, I study in the first standard and I am 6 years old. My mommy Kavita is the most beautiful mom on earth and papa Amit is the best, but an angry young man. He gets too upset over small things and is generally angry with me most of the times. I always ask mom why he is like this and she says ‘he is too occupied with work and is always under work pressure’.
My house is on the 10th lane of Janakpath. We have a small bungalow with white wooden fencing and a lush green lawn. We also have a small swing and a sand-pit. Mom has specially got it made for me!
I also have a separate bedroom. It is pink in colour and I have loads of pink toys in there. I also have many dolls. Mom says that I am her doll. She has put up lots of my photographs on the wall. Right from my birth till my 6th birthday, she has gathered all possible memories and she says she has captured world’s best fairy in her camera. I look so much like mom.
Mom and dad’s room is full of pictures too, but they have not put up any of my photos. I feel very sad. Whenever I ask mom about this she says that I live in her heart so why does she need one? The drawing room has a small frame with my picture though. Mom and dad’s big wedding photo-frame is as tall as I am and is put up on the bold blue wall. I always wonder why they never took me along for this wedding snap?
Papa never drops me to school. I always wanted him to lift me up and put me in the car like Charu’s dad. He also never comes to pick me from school. I always want to hug him when he comes back from work but he lightly pushes me away saying he is too tired. We do go out on Sundays to McDonald’s or playstations but he never talks much. On his birthday, I had made a big greeting card with red and yellow balloons painted on it. When I gave it to him, after brushing my teeth, he just said ‘Thank You’ and put it aside. I thought a hug would have made me happy.
But I love dad. He smiles when I show him my drawings. He also takes me to office for the ‘Kids @ work’ day. I like when dad lifts me while I am asleep in the car. Sometimes I even pretend to be asleep. He also helps me cross the road.
I remember the day when dad was trying to impress mom. He tried to make a pizza and it all got burnt. Mom was laughing all the way, but I had loved the melted cheese. So I told him it was “yumm”. He kissed me and said ‘thank you’. I was very happy that day. How I wished dad would have kissed me everyday! I would have eaten all the burnt pizza daily without any complaints!
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It was once when Santa was going to come. I love Christmas, only because Santa gives all of what you want. Mom says, he is God’s messenger. He knows what each little child wants. So I should write him a letter a week before Christmas to tell him about the best gift I want. I should then leave the letter near the terrace door so that Santa can take it away. Then he would talk to God and arrange for the gifts. So, I wrote a letter.
Dearest Santa Claus,
I am Siya. I love you very much. Mom says I am a good girl and so I can ask you for anything I want. I won’t ask for many things, I promise.
I want a dolly, just like Anushka. The one which wears a pink frock and which sneezes all the time. Anushka’s dad got it for her from Inorbit mall. Can you get it for me too? Then I want a box of Nutties, Mars, new clothes and a toy-pram for my dolly, Twinkle. Guess that should be all.
Santa, mom says you can talk to God. Can you please ask him to do some magic so that dad can love me. Please also send some gifts for mom and dad too. Thank you.
Love,
Siya.
I folded it neatly and placed it near the terrace door. I asked mom to leave the door open so that Santa could come in. She smiled and put me to sleep.
The next morning Dad asked me if I had written a letter to Santa and also what I had asked for. I said it was a secret and he laughed aloud and pulled my cheeks. Though it pained but I loved daddy noticing me.
I always try to copy mom. Whenever mom goes out, she asks dad how is she looking. I try to do the same. Whenever I dress up nicely I stand in front of dad and show him my dress. He smiles and says ‘Nice’. Once when I was going for Charu’s birthday party, I had worn a pink frock. Mom had put pink ribbons and pink clips on me. My stockings had heart shapes on them and my bellies were pink too. When I showed it to dad, he called me ‘Little pink fairy’ and said that I needed a new frock cause I had grown taller. I was very happy. I thought dad would buy me a pink dress and then I would show it to all my friends. Every evening when dad would return home from work, I would hurriedly run to him hoping that he had bought the dress. But it seems he had forgotten about it.
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Neeta buaa and her daughter Anu had come to our house for Christmas vacations. Anu is a nice girl but she is 2 years elder to me. So maybe she is a little snob. She doesn’t share her toys with me. Neeta buaa is nice but she brings very small gifts. Mom’s office-friend, Payal aunty, always gives me big gifts. I love Payal aunty. In fact all of mom’s friends are nice. They say I look completely like mom. But I think I have a small nose like dad.
On Christmas night, I got lots of gifts from Santa. I was very happy. Anu also had her stockings tied next to mine. So maybe Santa gave her a few gifts from my letter too. The next day dad came home early, he had a big packet with him. He called for Anu. Even I ran to daddy. He gave the big bag to Anu and she hurriedly opened it. The bag had a same frock like mine, but in Anu’s size. I thought dad must have got one for me too. So I asked him, “Dad, where is my dress?” Dad replied, “Oh Siya, I forgot that you also wanted one, plus Santa has given you so many gifts already”. I felt very sad. I went to mom and cried a lot. She promised me a new pink fairy dress by the next day. As promised, mom did buy one the next evening, but I was too sad to accept it. I wanted daddy to bring it for me. Mom didn’t say anything. She just hugged me and cried.
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One Sunday I had gone to Ice-Station with mom and dad. We all had lots of ice-cream. I love their Swiss Chocolate flavor and so I had two scoops. Mom was warning me against eating so much ice-cream, but I couldn’t resist. The very next day I felt sick. My nose was blocked and my throat hurt. I was running 103o fever. Mom got worried. It meant that she had to miss her work and stay at home for me. I heard dad grumbling inside his room saying that I should have not eaten so much ice-cream. Mom was nodding quietly. She took me to the doctor. I was diagnosed with throat infection and was asked to take a lot of colourful syrups. I hate taking those. They smell so bad. I only love Becosules, it tastes so nice. Sometimes I gulp down a few sips without telling mom. Mom decided to go to work as dad was going late himself. He had a lot of work to complete. I heard them talk a couple of times where dad was saying, “If this presentation goes well my promotion is more or less guaranteed. I have worked very hard on this for the past one year and now it is time to show it to my seniors. I can’t afford to let this opportunity slip. It has to go right.”
I had also seen him work hard through the nights. He would just sit with his laptop and spend hours working. When I had asked him for a paper to draw, he had told me to not touch anything. Specially the big black folder which had all the important papers. He gave me a rough page and I made a nice picture of myself and dad. When I showed it to him, he just smiled and said, “Go, show it to mom”. I was glad he liked it. Dad was working on his so-called presentation for almost a week. Mom said it was like daddy’s exams. If he did well, he could become Senior Director. I asked, “Does it mean, only if he comes first?”. She just laughed and hugged me tight. I love mom, she is so cute.
It was the second day of my fever. I had missed school. Mom had strictly asked me to lie down. My fever was being suppressed by Combiflam. But my body was weak. I felt dizzy if I walked around. I didn’t feel like eating anything, not even the Swiss Chocolate ice-cream! God then I must be really sick. Dad was telling mom in the morning that he was almost done with his presentation and was giving final touches. Mom had kept his best suit ready for the occasion. Dad looked very handsome when he wore blazers. I always wanted to show him around in my school. When he had come for my school’s annual function, Anshu had said that my dad looked like Aamir Khan. When I told dad, he laughed aloud.
It was almost noon, I knew it was time for dad to leave. He looked so tense. He was also shouting at Nandu, for not cleaning his car well. I did not make any noise. I was lying down quietly on the bed, because when dad gets angry, nobody can talk. He was getting a lot of calls from his office-friends. He was in no good mood is all I could understand. I wanted to wish him ‘Good Luck’, so I tried going to him. But by the time I reached the drawing room, he was out in his car. I waved at him, but he did not notice.
As I turned to go towards my room, I saw daddy’s important black folder on the couch. Guess he had forgotten it. Hurriedly I called dad on his cell phone, but it was not reachable. I panicked. I didn’t know what to do. But all of what I could understand was that in any case, the folder should reach dad. I called up Charu’s house to see if her dad was at home to help. Nobody answered the call. Nandu had also left by then. I knew I had to do something. So I went to my room, changed my night pajamas and broke my piggy. It did hurt to break it, cause Naani had given it to me with so much love. But I threw it hard on the floor and it broke open. I picked up all possible notes and stacked them in my little jacket’s pocket. I picked the black folder and was ready to go. I wasn’t sure of daddy’s office road, so I quickly grabbed his visiting card from the closet drawer and headed towards the door. Just then I thought of mom! If I ever got lost, then what would mom do! She would never get another fairy like me. So, I called Leena aunty who sits at the reception with lots of make-up. I asked not to transfer the call, but take down my message, “Dear mom, I am going to dad’s office urgently. You need not worry, I shall be safe”. Even before Leena aunty could ask me any questions, I hung up.
I reached on the main road and found an auto-rickshaw. The auto uncle was an old man called Mohammed chacha. He told me his name, while we rode to the office. I gave him daddy’s card and asked him to drop me there. At first, he seemed hesitant, but I assured him that mom had given me the money and had herself asked me to go. I thought he believed me. He took me through some small and big lanes. I knew some roads and some I didn’t. I prayed hard so I shouldn’t get lost and also not fall asleep during the ride. I told him about daddy's exams and why the black folder had to reach him. Hearing this he started riding the auto faster. I was happy that he was following my instructions. After around half an hour, he dropped me at daddy’s office. I gave him all the money I had, cause I couldn’t really count and do the math. He smiled and returned some of the money and waited till I entered the office building. The security guy wasn’t letting me in even though Mohammed chacha had requested him to let me pass through. So, I threatened I would call my dad’s name right there from the gate. He let me in. I grinned ear to ear and walked in. It feels so good when elders listen to you.
I passed through the main door and reached the lobby on the 3rd floor. The aunty at the reception had given me a visitor pass, but the security on the 3rd floor wasn’t letting me in. I told him my dad’s name and he called up at his desk. But dad was not in his cabin. So, he asked me to wait. I was very tired but I knew if I waited dad would be in trouble. His presentation would start! After a few minutes Jyoti aunty saw me and generally came to pull my cheeks. I asked her where dad was and she said he was in the conference room on the far left, but I was not allowed to go in there. She got a call on her cell-phone and she went away. I knew I had to get in there. The security uncle was neither accepting the black folder nor letting me take it to dad. I had no option but to sneak in. I made up my mind and ran inside towards the conference room. The security yelled and ran behind asking me to stop. But I knew no bounds, ”This was dad’s important day and he had to have the folder. It was his exam and he had to come first” is all I knew.
I reached outside the conference room and knocked. The security tried pulling me away, but I didn’t budge. I knocked again, the door was not latched and I could go in. I opened the door and there were almost fifteen people sitting around a big oval table. There was a big screen on one end. Dad was sitting very far, facing away from the door. All heads turned towards me. I slowly but bravely said, “Excuse me, can I come in?” I was so scared and then I clearly saw dad. He looked all tensed and was continuously calling from his cell-phone. After he noticed me, he just kept staring at my face. I quickly pulled out the folder from my bag and ran towards him. I said, “Dad, your folder was into my bag. I am so sorry, I took it last night without asking you, and so I have come to give it back, because I knew it was very important. Today is your exam, na?” He took the folder and picked me up. He didn’t say a word, just hugged me tight for a very long time. Tears rolled down his cheeks, he kissed me and said, “Thank you sweetie, you are an angel. I love you very much. Thank you so much” All the uncles smiled and clapped too. Daddy’s so-called ‘Barney boss’ (Uncle Jose is very fair with a huge belly and looks like a bunny rabbit) smiled so wide that he turned all pink. Daddy gently put me down and asked me to wait in his cabin. He then asked one of his office-boys to give me chocolate Horlicks and cashew biscuits, cause I was still weak and had fever. I would have preferred chocolate milk shake.
I waited patiently in his cabin, playing on the laptop till dad came back. He lightly closed the door behind him and walked up to me. I was weak but my smile was broad. He picked me up and hugged me again. He gave me many pecks on my cheeks and then kept looking at me. Then he said, “Siya, you knew I had forgotten the folder at home by mistake, but yet you lied in there?” I grinned and said, “Even if Santa gets upset with me for lying, I am fine. But I would not like Barney uncle to scold you, like my teacher scolds me if I forget my books at home. So I lied.” Dad held me close to him for a long time. He arranged for a driver to drop me home and promised to reach early.
While I lay in bed that afternoon, all alone, I felt very very happy. Finally my letter to Santa had reached God! Dad was going to love me more than he loves mom. I was all smiles through the day and by evening my fever had gone far far away.
Dad and mom came early that evening and we all laughed and played. Dad kept repeating the whole incident to mom umpteen times, as if I was the PowerPuff girl - Blossom - and had done some great job like her. I did all of it only because I love dad. Mom just smiled and smiled some more all the while. It was the happiest day of my life. Everything changed after that day.
I now sleep with mom and dad in their room. In fact I now sleep between them. Lots of my photo frames have joined theirs. Dad puts me to sleep every night and wakes me up too. He then gives me a bath and gets me ready for school. He often picks or drops me too.
Many days have passed now. I am very happy. I do not miss my pink room because it now belongs to Twinkle – my doll. She must be happy to have all the bed by herself.
Today is Saturday, I have no school and Naani has come over to spend time with us. Mom and dad are at Mohan uncle’s house for some card game. I decided it was a good time to shift my clothes to mommy’s closet. But her closet is so full of clothes. Maybe I could replace some of her old clothes with mine. So I picked up a few of them from the lowest rack to place into my cupboard instead. While I was cleaning the second rack, I found a big diary. It was mom’s diary. I know she writes in it sometimes. I have seen her cry when she wrote. I know it is a bad habit to read other’s books, but I want to find out what makes my mommy cry. I took it to Naani and showed it to her. I asked her to read out the sad stories in it. She turned the pages one by one, but stopped at one page which had mom and dad's wedding photo pasted next to it. She read it over and over and her eyes welled up. I asked her to read it aloud. She did not agree, but I insisted….
“Oh Amit...how can I repay you ever...I will always be grateful to you for marrying me inspite of knowing that I was carrying someone else's child. I know you love me....I will be indebted to you forever.”
God knows what that means, Naani said I will understand only when I get older.....I will just keep the diary where it was and bring in my clothes quickly.
... Credits ....
Naani - for helping me write this story.
Santa - for giving my letter to God
Daddy - for loving me soo much
Mumma - for giving me the second rack in your closet
Twinkle, my dolly - for letting me sleep with mum and dad without you.
P.S - I love you too much, Dad.